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Published Sep 16, 2019
by Vicki Atkinson, Ed.D., Former Dean of Student Development at Harper College
Have you noticed that when you’re stressed, you find yourself looking for ways to release the tension? To literally rid yourself of all that excess energy, heartache and confusion? For some, release and relief can come in the form of exercise. Exerting yourself and redirecting some of those intense thoughts and feelings into motion and physical expression is often just the thing we need. You may be less familiar with a concept called narrative psychology. Simply said, narrative psychology is a form of storytelling. How we choose to tell our story can have profound impacts on the ways in which we view ourselves and everything life throws at us.
Here are some techniques to help you reframe your life story.
Sometimes we all need a fresh perspective on our lives. "I am from..." poetry is a creative practice of reflecting on the people, places and experiences that made us who we are. Give yourself 15 minutes of quiet time – ideally in a spot that is peaceful and calm. Write ten lines and begin each line with "I am from..." and write about the details, both great and small, of your life's experiences. Don’t censor; just write. When all is said and done, you'll be amazed by the results.
Think of your life in terms of peaks and valleys, highs and lows. Be as creative as you'd like and grab a large piece of paper and consider how to organize your graph. By decades? By age ranges? Up to you. Then identify scenes from your life in each time period and plot them as “high” or “low” points. Don't be afraid to challenge yourself! Give yourself time to recall scenes from your life and consider how each has contributed to make you uniquely YOU.
Identify an object. Something meaningful that represents a very specific moment in your life. Write about this object in detail - where were you when you bought, found or received it? Who were you with? What time of year was it? Objects, as trivial as they may seem, can often be a doorway to memories and life-affirming moments. By writing about this object and why it's meaningful to you, you are honoring your life story.
Often we're our own worst critics. When you find yourself harshly criticizing aspects of your life - your income, your physical features, your accomplishments, etc., for yourself to STOP and THINK: would you criticize a loved one in the same way? Likely not. So before the story you tell yourself becomes a collection of should-haves, could-haves, consider how you might tell it differently. It can be hard, but choosing to love yourself can make all the difference.
Living in the wake of pain or trauma can significantly alter the way we tell our story. We tend to underplay our happiest moments and accomplishments and can view ourselves as the victim instead of the hero in our story. Write about those trying times but be deliberate in framing the story around how you overcame it (or are actively overcoming it). Through expressive writing practices such as this, you might be able to reframe your pain and change the narrative of your life.
What do you think? Time to find your inner author and storyteller? Try sharing your story with a family member or a friend! Personal stories and narratives bring us together. Remember—your story matters.
